Dazed and a little confused

Hello readers,

It has definitely been a while. I’d love to say I was adventuring on the high seas, or conquering Everest these past weeks, I truly would, but in truth I have been swimming in the sea of finals stress.

In 4 weeks I will be 24 and a graduand. About bloody time, I hear you all mutter (yes, Mum, I’m looking at you), but a degree is more than just a piece of expensive paper; it’s the journey you take to get that £20,000 piece of paper.

My god, I’m paying £20,000 for a piece of paper.

What I’m trying to say is that I am not the Caitlin of yester month. I have been replaced with a wild-eyed, bare-faced harridan that mutters about cumulative normal distributions and the importance of verse in Richard II.

I did want to write and puts some pixels on the interweb, though, so here I am, and this is about music.

I’m not exactly wildly exotic in my musical tastes- I know what I like, and I like what I know- but I do rely heavily on classical music during study times. I dislike silence, but can’t work with talky things that require my attention. While I was writing my dissertation, I listened to Holst’s Planets over and over and over until I could do a pretty good rendition of the whole thing; catch me on a carefree day and I’ll entertain you. But I have moved on, and my current musical valium is Erik Satie’s Gnossiennes.

Here, listen:

Close your eyes and just listen. Come back when it’s over.
This piece makes me feel alone, but not lonely alone. More that in this place, at this time, there is nothing but me and this music. What I see when I close my eyes and listen are the moors in moonlight. It has the same bleak tone to it, but quietly so; alone but not lonely.
Does this make sense?
I also have the same birthday as Satie, so I’m fairly sure I have a psychic bond with him. That’s how these things work, y’know,
If you like this, and you have Spotify, I strongly recommend ‘Satie: Gnossiennes, Gymnopédies, Piano Works’. Or you could buy it. It gets quite violent in the Trois Morceaux en forme de poire à quatre mains’.
I’m going back to my probability revision. First exam in about a week. Tense times over here.
Caitlin x
PS I ALSO recommend you listen to this. Completely different to Satie, but just as addictive.

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