Day 22: my greatest fear

Evening, reader,

What I’m wearing: The Dress; long sleeved white t-shirt, probably from H&M; M&S leggings, which are still going strong; socks; knitted shrug wot I made myself.

I didn’t sleep very well last night. Not because of too much caffeine, or nightmares, or cheese, but because I convinced myself there was a snake in my bed. There was just no reasoning with my rational brain; I heard a hissing noise and therefore assumed there must be a snake somewhere under my covers.

I’m scared of snakes the way some people fear heights or spiders or flying. I’m not sure whether this started, but I remember going to a snake temple when I was 2 and a half, and there being thousands of the buggers, hanging from the roof beams, crawling on the floor, everywhere. Something tells me that that would be a pretty good trigger.

My fear can be funny: watching Indiana Jones recently, I accidentally saw a snake and screamed like a banshee. It was funny, but only once the frightful creature had gone off-screen. Most of the time it’s horrible. If I’m near a snake, my heart starts to race, my skin crawls and I have to run away. Sometimes I even have a panic attack.

I’ve tried to conquer my fear, I really have. I’ve eaten snake (never again), and I’ve tried to look one in the eyes. Nothing works. I know that they won’t hurt me but I just can’t reason with myself. So when the thought flashed into my head that there was a snake on the loose, that was it. Any real chance of sleep was gone. I spent the night cocooned in a duvet, skin-tight so the snake couldn’t wriggle in, with my lamp on and a book in my hand for bashing any snakes on the head.

Ladies and gents, I’m pleased to announce that I survived the night.

However, I don’t function well on no sleep; I’m on my third cup of tea, and I’ve had two coffees, just to stay conscious. Therefore, today’s outfit was easy, I-haven’t-slept-and-I’m-late-for-a-lab chic. I knitted the shrug myself (for any knitters, it’s just a long moss stitched piece with the ends sewn together.) It’s made of 100% pure wool so has kept me warm today in my zombified state.


Hollie came round and took these pictures. We are going to London a week on Monday as student ambassadors for Glasgow Uni, so we were planning what to do with our free time. If anyone has any recommendations of things to do on a very very tight budget (think: no money at all), we’d be grateful.
We also had crumble and custard, but we ate the crumble before I could take a picture; we positively inhaled it. So here’s a picture of the box:
Beautiful, no?
We beat £1200! That’s so brilliant. I really hope you’re proud of yourselves, donators. You’re all stars.
If you still haven’t donated, you’d better hurry- there’s only 6 days left. Oh my gosh, only 6 days left. Hadn’t realised that before.
Caitlin x

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